the jesus we flirt with

im wondering how much we really know jesus. ive been a believer for around 12 years and i can honestly say the pursuit of Jesus is incredibally hard. I would consider myself a pretty devout christian but sometimes i feel like i barely know the man i call my savior. Sure i know who he is and all the stories about him, but how personal is my relationsip with Him? i want him to be my everything and my best friend, but it is COMPLEX and simple all at the same time. I feel like as time goes on we as humans get worse and worse at being relational with one another. We would rather text or facebook than sit down and talk or talk on the phone. Does this effect the way we communicate with Jesus? is has to right? i don't know but i want so badly to be in a 100% commited relationship with Jesus but so often i find myself just flirting with him. When im bored or lonely or things are wrong i run to him and give him everything that i have and lean on him 100% but what about all the other times? i don't think i do. i am routine with him.....i read, i pray i mediate but its just going through the motions right....do we do that with each other? maybe....i don't know.....just thoughts...........wherever you are..........i encourage you to stop flirting and commit yourself..........Romans 12:9 let your love be sincere, HATE WHAT IS EVIL, and cling to what is good

just heard a song talking about Jesus being our great reward. It really made me think about the concept of Jesus being our reward and do we really treat it or him like he is a reward. The name, concept, or idea of Jesus has become so watered down in America for a number of reasons. Anytime we hear about a certain so many times, we become bored with it.....its tragic really. I feel like the name "christian" bears so many bad thoughts or triggers so many negative thoughts.......all for good reason though........we have so often missed the mark on the true calling of Jesus in our lives.......if we truly loved and lived the life that He calls us to, things would be much much different. Ive come to a place where im tired of "church." Thats a heavy statement, but as i study the first church i feel like weve gotten so far away from what that was. Where's the authenticity in our faith. We pretend or are made feel like church is a social event in which we are all perfect and can't be real with the sin or struggle in our life. Not to say its the churches fault, but rather our practice of religious rituals....idk honestly. i just wish we could all be authentic with one another.....if you have an eating disorder.....share that.....if your gay....share that......if your in deep in porn or lust.......bear that burden........the more real we are with our struggles the more real Jesus becomes to us. We pretend that our lives are great and we don't struggle with sin ........haha what a joke.......when we live that way it makes Jesus less realavant to our lives and it downplays our need for a savior.....The cross was much more than a means to heaven........the vail was torn and we have access every day to his power, his grace and the ability to call upon his name in our time of need............lets stop being so religious and be real....maybe then Jesus wouldn't be so boring